I guess you could include me in what seems to be a minority of America’s population that doesn’t have a FaceBook or MySpace account. Perhaps its because navigating the blogosphere is tedious enough or possibly I’ve never really seen the need to be involved in these social networks just yet. I really don’t know why I’ve never done it I just know that I haven’t. Then I went to a conference last week where I was told that all pastors should be on FaceBook so that they can not only network but also reach a new audience that they couldn’t otherwise. So I’ve been doing a little research over the weekend and I’ve discovered something alarming. People are trading real legitimate friendships for online buddies. Let me tell you first why I think that is and then I’ll tell you why I believe it is alarming.
Making friends online seems to be a lot easier than actually stepping out and meeting people. If you have an attractive avatar and catchy sig line then most people are likely to accept your offer of friendship without even attempting to actually get to know you. You can be as in-depth about yourself or as shallow as you’d like which makes it safe and unlike real friendships removes the sense of vulnerability we feel when we put ourselves out on a limb in face-to-face relationships. It’s the easiest and most low maintenance relationship a person could ever have.
So why is this alarming? Because it becomes much easier to replace significant and meaningful relationships with shallow online ones. There is no accountability with online relationships and we really can be whatever we want to be. Thus it creates a fantasy world where our ethics and possibly even our morals could easily go right out the window as we strive to be accepted. Isn’t that what we are ultimately looking for anyway, acceptance?
Ultimately our greatest desire is just to be accepted for who we really are. There’s a verse in the Bible that states, “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” – John 15:12-13
Meaningful relationships are built on sacrifice and sacrifice is based on love. Knowing that someone cares for you despite your faults is a satisfaction that you can’t find online no matter how many FaceBook friends you may have.
I’m not condemning online communities nor am I condemning those who choose to participate in them. I’m about to become one myself. I’m just suggesting that we become aware of the danger of replacing real life friends with online ones. Stay grounded in life by keeping up with God’s word and its application to your life. Stay in touch with reality by understanding who God created you to be and learning to live sacrificially through real relationships.
Making friends online seems to be a lot easier than actually stepping out and meeting people. If you have an attractive avatar and catchy sig line then most people are likely to accept your offer of friendship without even attempting to actually get to know you. You can be as in-depth about yourself or as shallow as you’d like which makes it safe and unlike real friendships removes the sense of vulnerability we feel when we put ourselves out on a limb in face-to-face relationships. It’s the easiest and most low maintenance relationship a person could ever have.
So why is this alarming? Because it becomes much easier to replace significant and meaningful relationships with shallow online ones. There is no accountability with online relationships and we really can be whatever we want to be. Thus it creates a fantasy world where our ethics and possibly even our morals could easily go right out the window as we strive to be accepted. Isn’t that what we are ultimately looking for anyway, acceptance?
Ultimately our greatest desire is just to be accepted for who we really are. There’s a verse in the Bible that states, “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” – John 15:12-13
Meaningful relationships are built on sacrifice and sacrifice is based on love. Knowing that someone cares for you despite your faults is a satisfaction that you can’t find online no matter how many FaceBook friends you may have.
I’m not condemning online communities nor am I condemning those who choose to participate in them. I’m about to become one myself. I’m just suggesting that we become aware of the danger of replacing real life friends with online ones. Stay grounded in life by keeping up with God’s word and its application to your life. Stay in touch with reality by understanding who God created you to be and learning to live sacrificially through real relationships.
1 comment:
Hey, I will be your friend on Facebook. Don't do myspace - too much trash. FB is cleaner and more professional. Great post - cuz I believe you are right about the disconnect of society today. However, consider my experience and thoughts:
I think that you will find it an incredible way to keep up with those that you either can't because of distance or time. Then there is the element of defining friend. Many of my friends are people I cherish and really wouldn't have thought I'd bump into them again, but have. They are parents of friends from HS, kids of friends from HS, HS acquaintences, old buddies, etc. But I may not be able to see them in person due to distance. This may add to the time factor, but in most cases one can only manage deeper relationships in a smaller quanity.
Due to family, job, church, kids extra-curriculars and the multitude of time robbers, I find that it is tough to enjoy the close friends I have. But FB has been a joy. I have re-inserted friends into my life and I get to see their kids and families. Old youth kids may be followed up with and that has been a blast! We even had dinner with one a few weeks ago. Spent time with him, his wife and two precious kids! Wow, getting old. FB created a new friend for us.
See FB also paints a reality of your age...that kinda stinks. One may attempt to be what he is not, like Brad Paisley's song, but truth prevails. In the perspective of morality and upright ethics, FB is a wonderful tool for people of character, integrity and desire to network. Shame that there is evil out there that corrupts things. Thus, one has to be careful...especially kids and teens. Predators lurk in shadows.
In short, I believe you will be blown away. Be careful though- you already manage a couple blogs and web pages. It is a time sucker.
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